My dog’s teeth missed your face

A friend of mine posted a Craig’s Listing from my home town that I thought was hilarious.

It’s too bad, our missed connection.
Next time you think about hurting a woman, remember that she might have a dog waiting for you.
As you followed me in the dark down an empty parking lot alley, you didn’t seem to notice my large dog to the side.
Yes, and when you started to yell and tried to catch up to me as I walked away, you mistaked my brushing you off for not caring.
No, I was trying to save you from getting attacked by my rather very large dog I was walking.
But you were to stoned to notice as he came by and stood next to me.
As you got closer and he started growling and baring his teeth, you finally saw him.
What did you call him again? A deer?
No dude, not a deer, a pissed off dog.
Lucky for you I was holding onto him as he lunged for your face.
You fell back and hit the ground. Got up just as fast and took off running.
When you had enough of a head start all I had to do was let go of his collar.
He chased you through the parking lot and ripped your shirt as you started screaming in sheer terror.
One whistle and he was back at my side.
Next time, don’t try to hurt a woman with a dog or without. Because you never know.
By the way, did you get the bleeding under control?

I love Craig’s List.