My thoughts are jumbled and disjointed. This is one of those times when I write because I need to and not because anyone else will read it but me.
I had the assumption that now that the Postpartum Depression was over that life would go back to normal. Well, you know what assuming does right? I have talked about my Depression pretty openly and because of that I think it’s been easy to assume that it wasn’t bad, I mean it turned out alright in the end, right?
No, it didn’t.
One of the things I didn’t expect after having Postpartum was that all those things you do when you are functioning on half the brain cells and only a quarter the emotional strength, come back to haunt you later. I’ve just been so grateful to be normal again that I thought everyone was happy to have normalcy return from his darkened slumber.
I know this makes no sense to you but it’s helpful to me to write it down and I promise that regular postings will return shortly. As for now I’m going to wrack my brain for anything I might have said or done during those desperate months and hope it doesn’t come back to knock the wind out of me.
As with all things that case change (depression, health issues etc.) some people, namely children, tend to get away with things they normally would not get away with. It has been my experience that they are happy to have their mom back, but not happy enough to willingly change the bad habits that they picked up, out of survival of both parent and child. It is definatly hard to undo the damage that I have done, and it is hard for them to be held accountable for not listening to me. I’m sure thee are others who have problems with me coming back to life they just havn’t voiced it as loudly or as whiny as my children have.
Unfortunatly in life to many things can come back to haunt us and some people never realize that the comment “remember when” should be buried and left alone. From one post pardum mom to another you have risen above it and moved on and those who love you will rise with you sometimes there just a bit slower or a little nervous at times. Bad day’s are all part of growing up. That’s why we have girlfriends!